There may be a heaven, but if Joan Crawford is there, I'm not going.

You will never be happier than you expect. To change your happiness, change your expectation.

Women are the essential part of the theater but the writers are not writing about women. I think they're too perplexed about the whole female situation probably.

Among the reasons marriages fail, sex ranks no higher than fourth, behind money, having only one bathroom, and an inability to communicate, reasons one, two and three.

One can make more enemies as a female with a brain, I think.

Pray to God and say the lines.

I may not have been wearing a mink coat, but I was traveling with a dog. That should have made you think I was an actress!