From an evolutionary point of view, sex is really just a reward mechanism to encourage us to pass on our genetic material.

The best that can be said for Norwegian television is that it gives you the sensation of a coma without the worry and inconvenience.

I love everything about motels. I can't help myself. I still get excited every time I slip a key into a motel room door and fling it open.

It is unthinkable to have a British countryside that doesn't have actual functioning farmers riding tractors, cows in fields, things like that.

Clearly, some time ago makers and consumers of American junk food passed jointly through some kind of sensibility barrier in the endless quest for new taste sensations. Now they are a little like those desperate junkies who have tried every known drug and are finally reduced to mainlining toilet bowl cleanser in an effort to get still higher.

I just use my life story as a kind of device on which to hang comic observations. It's not my interest or instinct to tell the world anything pertinent about myself or my family.

Human beings would split the atom and invent television, nylon, and instant coffee before they could figure out the age of their own planet.