You take a team with twenty-five assholes and I'll show you a pennant. I'll show you the New York Yankees.

The most important question regarding Big Data at almost any company is: How much are your customers really worth?

Kids don't learn the fundamentals of baseball at the games anymore.

I'm mad at Hank Aaron for deciding to play one more season. I threw him his last home run and thought I'd be remembered forever. Now, I'll have to throw him another.

You have only two hemispheres in your brain - a left and a right side. The left side controls the right side of your body and the right controls the left half. It's a fact. Therefore, left-handers are the only people in their right minds.

Alcohol is like anything else. It's only as bad as the person it's being poured into. If it's used to heighten an occasion, or to take an edge off stress, I don't see a problem. Trouble starts when you either lose control and let the bottle run you, or when you believe its promises of immortality. You realize that no matter how much you punish yourself, you always seem to wake up the next day. Pretty soon you're convinced that you will never die. When that happens I guess it is time to look for help before your life becomes one long, lost weekend.

The only rule I got is if you slide, get up.