Religion is the worst enemy of mankind. No single war in the history of humanity has killed as many people as religion has.

There's only a couple times when fame is ever helpful. Sometimes you can get into a restaurant where the kitchen is just closing. Sometimes you can avoid a traffic violation. But the only time it really matters is in the emergency room with your kids. That's when you want to be noticed, because it's very easy to get forgotten in an ER.

I try to be available for life to happen to me. We're in this life, and if you're not available, the sort of ordinary time goes past and you didn’t live it. But if you're available, life gets huge. You're really living it.

You work, you get paid, you drink.

The human condition means that we can zone out and forget what the hell we're doing.

I've retired a couple of times. It's great, because you can just say, 'Oh, I'm sorry. I'm retired.'

I don't have to take this abuse from you -- I have hundreds of people waiting in line to abuse me!