Afghanistan is just one of those countries that no group can conquer. It's so challenging to live, and the people are so close among their own tribes, their own groups, that you can't rule them all, you can't get an accord from all of them.

It’s fun to watch someone like John Goodman, and yet it takes work. People say ‘he’s not acting, he’s being himself.’ Well it’s hard to be yourself, it’s the hardest job there is.

And even if we win, if we win, HAH! Even if we win! Even if we play so far above our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days; even if God in Heaven above comes down and points his hand at our side of the field; even if every man woman and child held hands together and prayed for us to win, it just wouldn't matter because all the really good looking girls would still go out with the guys from Mohawk because they've got all the money! It just doesn't matter if we win or we lose. IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER! It just doesn't matter! It just doesn't matter!

If I run into someone on the street, that's one thing. But answering mail for a living? I like a job where you can play and act kind of goofy and have some fun.

I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think.

Well, the past is gone, I know that. The future isn't here yet, whatever it's going to be. So, all there is, is this. The present. That's it.

I met a woman who photographed celebrity dogs for a book, and she told me that Ralph Lauren's dog is named Rugby. I said, Yeah, but his real name is Stickball.