If you're gay, you're gay. It's my Dennis Miller theory of homosexuality shot through the movie "Boy and the Dolphin." If you're a 12-year-old boy and you're watching the movie "Boy and a Dolphin" and a 27-year-old Sofia Loren crawls up out of the Aegean Sea after sponge diving, she's standing there in the deck of the boat in a see-through gauze top, rivulets of water dripping off her torso onto the deck of the boat. If you're a 12-year-old boy and you're watching that and you still want to make it with the captain of the boat, you're gay. You can't fight that. So it is what it is.

There's a very secret plan. And it's a plan that nobody's going to tell you, 'Well, we want to diminish Christian philosophy in the U.S.A. because we want X, Y, and Z.' They'll never ever say that. But I'm kind of surprised they went after Christmas because it's such an emotional issue.

Dan Rather is guilty of not being skeptical enough about a story that was politically loaded.

Once the war against Saddam begins, we expect every American to support our military, and if they can't do that, to shut up.

Hanks is a good man, and he produced the "John Adams" series as well. He does good work. But I'm more worried about a Tom Hanks when we're at war against radical Islam than I am against a caricature like Sean Penn. He's a completely marginalized soul.

I figure you give Donald trump two years to see if his approach works, the business rather than the political approach. You'll see at the end of two years if new jobs are being created, money flow comes back from overseas, all of that, the immigration chaos subsides. You got to give him two years, but I think I know what he's trying to do and you know we'll watch it.

When I die, I don't want my demise to be used as a political rally, and that's what happened yesterday.