I got body lice in Germany! I'd tell you they were crabs, but I wasn't getting laid.
My job description is that I'm a rock star. And I'm good at it.
Every night I play as if my life depends on it.
That was the hard part of having kids: trying to be on their schedule, then fighting to get to sleep while they are sleeping.
They have bad taste. I am not a good-looking guy.
Coffee is the absolute most dependably ordinary thing I could have every single day.