I've been trying to watch my weight a bit, but when I come to Las Vegas, all bets are off. I get enough healthy food in L.A. where the food is the size of a quarter and costs $40 - when I'm in Vegas, I want a steak!

I mean, yeah, I want to lose some weight! I'm doing the best I can.

Sometimes WRONG is worth the FUNNY!

You need a wisecracking buddy standing next to you? That's the role for me. You got the guys who are knock-down, drag-out handsome. That's what people want to see. Let that guy be the hero. But there's always a role for the Everyman.

I'm from Minnesota! I used to work Knuckleheads at the Mall of America as a stand-up. I spent New Year's there once. I'm not trying to namedrop.

I like those older theaters - the acoustics are perfect, I mean, you just have that feel of there's been a thousand shows in there and now you get to be one.

Everybody wants to be a better version of themselves - everybody. And I hope one day I can lose some weight. Maybe, who knows, I'll hire myself a trainer and a fancy cook. In five years, maybe I'll be an action hero. Then again, maybe I'll just be this guy. Who knows? But the fun part is embracing the human side of that.