I've played all kinds of places, laid all kinds of girls.

In hell there's a big hotel where the bar just closed and the windows never opened. No phone so you can't call home, and the TV works, but the clicker is broken.

I keep telling people: Don't make me the poster boy for AA because I don't know a lot about sobriety, but I do know a lot about drinking.

Hope you don't think this is Billy Joel unplugged. I'm a piano player. I'm already unplugged.

I consider myself to be an inept pianist, a bad singer, and a merely competent songwriter. ... I'm probably writing music now for the same reason as I started writing songs when I was 14-to meet women. ... If you make music for the human needs you have within yourself, then you do it for all humans who need the same things. You enrich humanity with the profound expression of these feelings. ... My songs are like my kids.

Well I never had a place that I could call my very own/That's all right, my love, 'cause you're my home.

There's an old man sitting next to me, making love to his tonic and gin.