Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat.

You know, I was once named Minor League Player of the Year...unfortunately, I had been in the majors for two years at the time.

Baseball hasn't forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games and I haven't lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times.

People don't know this, but I helped the Cardinals win the pennant. I came down with hepatitis. The trainer injected me with it!

The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up.

Let's face it. Umpiring is not an easy or happy way to make a living. In the abuse they suffer, and the pay they get for it, you see an imbalance that can only be explained by their need to stay close to a game they can't resist.

I just grew the hair on my back. Facial hair just wasn't appealing to me. I liked it on my back, though.