Can I say anything good about Ken Livingstone? A long time ago he did some good things, but I can't now remember what any of them were.

I dont see why people are so snooty about Channel Five. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap-dancing, and other related and vital subjects

I think it'd be disgraceful if a chap wasn't allowed to have a bit of fun in Las Vegas. The real scandal would be if you went to Vegas and you didn't misbehave in some trivial way.

I cant remember what my line on drugs is. Whats my line on drugs?

I am hoping very much to get re-elected but it is going to be a tough fight.

Ping-pong was invented on the dining tables of England in the 19th century, and it was called Wiff-waff! And there, I think, you have the difference between us and the rest of the world. Other nations, the French, looked at a dining table and saw an opportunity to have dinner; we looked at it an saw an opportunity to play Wiff-waff.

The Lib Dems are not just empty. They are a void within a vacuum surrounded by a vast inanition.