I feel vulnerable to the astonishing beauty of being alive and to Mother Nature.

I remind myself that I don't have the ability to completely manipulate reality to be exactly what I want it to be.

I feel positive when I feel vulnerable, because it's another reminder that it's not all about me and about my ego.

My first epiphany that this might work came on my first day, when I went into biofeedback. They hooked me up to computers through electrodes, put me in a comfortable lounge chair, put an eye pillow over my face, slipped speakers onto my head and played an audio guided visualization.

I actually think it's courageous to be vulnerable, and it's not something to be avoided.

I remind myself that I don't have the ability to completely manipulate reality to be exactly what I want it to be. So now that reality is antithetical to what I want, how I can feel into it and act skillfully rather than react? How can I choose my best course of action while not pretending I don't have the pain, or running away from the pain, or blaming someone else for the circumstances of my life?

How can I look at it and say, there it is - it's real. This is what is happening. It might even be a catalyst for more personal growth for me. It might be a blessing in disguise. It might not be. What's my best course of action? How can I be skillful?