How can I look at it and say, there it is - it's real. This is what is happening. It might even be a catalyst for more personal growth for me. It might be a blessing in disguise. It might not be. What's my best course of action? How can I be skillful?

I feel vulnerable to the astonishing beauty of being alive and to Mother Nature.

Each day, I would feel new wisdom and new intuition and I would follow that. Most everything I was doing was coming from that voice in my heart, which was affirmed by the ancient texts.

I had never done any sort of yoga before, and this epiphany was a little more esoteric. I walked into the yoga room and there was a voice from my soul that said out loud, This is it! I just knew. I just knew in that moment - I couldn't even straighten my legs. I couldn't sit cross-legged on the floor. I couldn't put my legs up the wall in the most gentle, restorative yoga pose, and yet, I knew.

My first epiphany that this might work came on my first day, when I went into biofeedback. They hooked me up to computers through electrodes, put me in a comfortable lounge chair, put an eye pillow over my face, slipped speakers onto my head and played an audio guided visualization.

I feel positive when I feel vulnerable, because it's another reminder that it's not all about me and about my ego.

I now realize that a broken back, failed surgery, and Stage IV cancer are three of the greatest things that ever happened to me. Three of the most positive, transformative things that ever happened to me. They helped me become a vastly better person than I ever was, and I am eternally grateful for that.