The best liars are those who tell the truth most of the time.

They say a man doesn't know himself until he faces death for the first time. . . I don't know about that. It seems to me that the person you are when you're about to die isn't as important as the person you are during the rest of your life. Why should a few moments matter more than an entire lifetime?

Better to be the failure who nobly strived than the success who never really had to.

I'm convinced that responsibility is some kind of psychological disease.

People can do great things. However, there are some things they just CAN'T do. I, for instance, have not been able to transform myself into a Popsicle, despite years of effort.

Joel, lad, school is about learning to learn. If you don't practice studying things you don't like, then you'll have a very hard time in life.

Remember, despite the fact that this book is being sold as a 'fantasy' novel, you must take all of the things it says extremely seriously, as they are quite important, are in no way silly, and always make sense. Rutabaga.