It's hard to program a computer to make jokes. The brain needs to do something here; the brain needs to come up with something bizarre to make something funny.

Go my favorite sports team go! Score a goal. Unit. Basket. Go squadron! Defeat the opponents soundly in this...skirmish.

If Einstein was so smart how come people only call you 'Einstein' when you do something really stupid ?

Mmmm! Lunch and no cleanup! Can life get better? I submit that it can NOT!

I eat Fig Newtons by the sleeve.

I don't take jokes from other people. It's really not cool to steal jokes from anybody. It's not cool to steal anything from anybody. Jokes are no different.

I took a speed reading course and my speed shot up to 43 pages a minute, but my comprehension plummeted.