I was shooting a bikini promotion in Mahe in the Seychelles in 1980 when there was a military coup and I, along with a roomful of other people, ended up being kidnapped and held hostage at gunpoint in a windowless room with no ventilation for 36 hours.

I'm not a beautiful person and I never have been.

I've lost bags all over the world and had cases end up in London, Frankfurt, Los Angeles and Miami.

All I know is it destroyed my family, it destroyed my marriage to Sylvester and I will never get over it.

Im 48 now and I would like to have another baby. I would love to because of all the things I have learned. It would be like starting all over again. But am I too old? Im young at heart and I would be different this time round.

I know I will be breaking a taboo. But I'm sure that it will provoke a new discussion. It's time things change. I feel 30 and want to look that way again.

I've covered a lot of ground geographically and emotionally and for years I lost my connection with my family. But the best comfort you can have, whether you are on the phone or sitting there in the living room with them, is with your parents, and to me family has always meant protection. When you smile you get a smile back, unconditionally.