Not even Barbra Streisand celebrates herself as tirelessly as golf celebrates itself.

If the general attitude of Canadians toward their mighty neighbor to the south could be distilled into a single phrase, that phrase would probably be "Oh, shut up."

No game designed to be played with the aid of personal servants by right-handed men who can't even bring along their dogs can be entirely good for the soul.

I'm a great admirer of cartoons, because I can't do cartoons.

Not even Barbra Streisand celebrates herself as tirelessly as golf celebrates itself.

Six Secrets to Being a Successful Humorist 1. Be scared, unhappy, and an outcast as a kid. 2. Drop out of high school. 3. Spend time alone. 4. Don't take a comedy course. 5. Read other humorists but don't worship them. 6. Don't get your hopes up.

You can parody almost anything.