If you want a reliable tip, drive into a town, go to the nearest appliance store and seek out the dishwasher repair man. He spends a lot of time in restaurant kitchens and usually has strong opinions about them.

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill.

Never eat Chinese food in Oklahoma.

At lunchtime the place is jumping, while at night the dining rooms could have been rented out for chess tournaments.

The quality of food is in inverse proportion to a dining room's altitude, especially atop bank and hotel buildings (airplanes are an extreme example).

If you want a reliable tip, drive into a town, go to the nearest appliance store and seek out the dishwasher repair man. He spends a lot of time in restaurant kitchens and usually has strong opinions about them.

Cheese steaks are the gastronomic icons of this ethnic city.