There are two things in life you cannot choose. The first is your enemies; the second your family. Sometimes the difference between them is hard to see, but in the end time will show you that the cards you have been dealt could always have been worse.

It seems that in the advanced stages of stupidity, a lack of ideas is compensated for by an excess of ideologies.

In small towns, news travels at the speed of boredom.

Why is it that the less one has to say the more one says it in the most pompous and pedantic way possible?... Is it to fool the world or just to fool themselves?

Nobody knows much about women, not even Freud, not even women themselves. But it's like electricity: you don't need to know how it works to get a shock on the fingers.

Wine turns the wise man into a fool and the fool into a wise man.

I became a writer, a teller of tales, because otherwise I would have died... or worse.