I have a fetish for damsels in distress.” “Don’t be sexist.” “Not at all. My services are also available to gentlemen in distress. It’s an equal opportunity fetish.

It was a very bad idea. It was a terrible idea. It was the worst idea he had ever heard. It was irresistible.

You could say anything you wanted to someone you thought you were never going to see again.

What kind of guardian are you? Shouldn't you have gone to the bathroom with him?" Isabelle demanded. Jordan looked horrified. "Dudes," he said, "do not follow other dudes to the bathroom.

Dear Alec and Magnus, I known we're not really close, but Isabelle just came by to drop off a pleated orange velvet tux that she claims I will be wearing to your wedding. Is this true, and if so, why orange? -Simon

One can love two children. But your heart can be given romantic love to only a single other, said Woolsey.

I need a bodyguard." Simon eyed him. "Have you been watching The Bodyguard? Because I am not going to fall in love with you and carry you around in my burly arms.