I am a Prince," he replied, being rather dense. "It is the function of a Princeโvalue Aโto kill monstersโvalue Bโfor the purpose of establishing orderโvalue Cโand maintaining a steady supply of maidensโvalue D. If one inserts the derivative of value A (Prince) into the equation y equals BC plus CD squared, and sets it equal to zero, giving the apex of the parabola, namely, the point of intersection between A (Prince) and B (Monster), one determines value Eโa stable kingdom. It is all very complicated, and if you have a chart handy I can graph it for you.
Catherynne M. ValenteBut this is a story, and in a story there is always someone beautiful enough." - 'The Girl with Two Skins' from A Guide to Folktales in Fragile Dialects
Catherynne M. ValenteHow much better if life were more like books, if life lied a little more, and gave up its stubborn and boring adherence to the way things can be, and thought a little more imaginatively about the way things might be.
Catherynne M. ValenteThen he is a monster!" the Prince crowed, "and I must slay him at once. The Formula works!" "Your Formula must result in a great deal of fighting," I mused. "Oh, yes, when applied correctly mighty and noble battles result! Of course I always winโthe value of Prince X is a constant. It cannot be lesser than that of Monster Yโthis is the Moral Superiority Hypothesis made famous five hundred years ago by my ancestor Ethelred, the Mathematician-King. We have never seen his equal, in all these centuries.
Catherynne M. Valente