Finally, a human man saw me as intensely valuable. Just my luck he was happily married and thought I was a freak.

Look, how come he showed up now? When you have other fairies in the woods? And does that sound crazy when you say it out loud, or what?

He pulled my coat off my shoulders, looked at it with distaste, hung it on the back of one of the chairs pushed in under the kitchen table. "You are beautiful". No one had ever looked me in the eyes and said that. Eric to Sookie, Page 208.

What are you, Zen Master Fang?

Well, that's certainly... adequate," I told him, burying my face in his chest. I knew immediately I'd picked the wrong word. "Adequate?" He took my hand, placed it on the part in question. It immediately began to stir. He moved my hand on it, and I obligingly circled it with my fingers. "This is adequate?" "Maybe I should have said it's a gracious plenty?" "A gracious plenty. I like that," he said.

Following Simon's adventures is like being the pinball in an especially antic game, but it's well worth the wear and tear.

But there's a juicy artery in your groin," he said after a pause to regroup, his voice as slithery as a snake on a slide. "Don't you talk dirty," I told him. "I won't listen to that.