I was only kidding about the hundred," she says. oh," I say, "what will it cost me?" she lights her cigarette with my lighter and looks at me through the flame: her eyes tell me. look," I say, "I don't think I can ever pay that price again.

I can never drive my car over a bridge without thinking of suicide. I can never look at a lake or an ocean without thinking of suicide.

I went to the bathroom and threw some water on my face, combed my hair. If I could only comb that face, I thought, but I can't.

there must be a way. surely there must be a way that we have not yet thought of. who put this brain inside of me? it cries it demands it says that there is a chance. it will not say "no.

I hope that death contains less than this.

in this room the hours of love still make shadows.

If you want to create, you'll create.