The more cats you have, the longer you live. If you have a hundred cats, you'll live ten times longer than if you have ten. Someday this will be discovered, and people will have a thousand cats and live forever.

Sundays kill more people than bombs.

I carry death in my left pocket. Sometimes I take it out and talk to it: "Hello, baby, how you doing? When you coming for me? I'll be ready.

since some people had told me that I was ugly, I always preferred shade to the sun, darkness to light

And yet women-good women--frightened me because they eventually wanted your soul, and what was left of mine, I wanted to keep.

and our few good times will be rare because we have the critical sense and are not easy to fool with laughter

If I have any advice to anybody it's this: take up watercolor painting.