I didn’t know that it was going to launch a quote-unquote comedic career. I just wanted to do anything other than wait tables.

I don't think you should just do what makes you happy. Do what makes you great. Do what's uncomfortable and scary and hard but pays off in the long run... Let yourself fail... And pick yourself up and fail again. Without that struggle, what is your success anyway?

My parents are more likely to know who Franz Liszt is than Snooki.

In my theater days I assumed that you had to get rid of yourself to do a character well, and I don’t think I was a very good actor when I did that.

I'm not the biggest fan of comedies where nothing is real.

Starting out, I bet I didn't get a lot of parts because of my strange voice. I'm not consciously thinking, 'Hey, sound like a squeaky dog toy mixed with a bagful of rusty nails.' It's just what my voice has done.

The idea of doing stand-up is terrifying to me.