People who lack self-regulation are often invasive of others. They can be perceived as being controlling, antagonistic, or even subversive.

Some believe that to be authentic, you have to present yourself the same way in every situation. At first thought, this notion seems reasonable, but when you really think about it - not so much. The way you interact with your boss is not the same way you need to interact with your family, peers, team members, or clients. It is not only okay to present yourself differently in various situations but crucial to being perceived as authentic.

Authenticity is not an innate quality - that is, you are not born with it. Being an authentic leader is not something you can say about yourself; it must be attributed to you.

Friedman suggests self-differentiation is about knowing where you end and others begin.

We must treat others as if they matter, as if they are worthy of care and attention.

We should always be learning or we will cease to be able to change or adapt. I think the best work on leadership today is by Ronald Heifetz. His work is focused on adaptive leadership.

Rob Goffee and Gareth Jones wrote a great piece in Harvard Business Review titled "Managing Authenticity." In it, they argue that establishing authenticity as a leader is a two-part challenge: "First, you have to ensure that your words are consistent with your deeds; otherwise, followers will never accept you as authentic. The second challenge of authentic leadership is finding common ground with the people you seek to recruit as followers.