I was terrible student. I was capable, but I never like being told what to do, so I was always in the bottom class at school. In Australia, a lot of students study to the end of year 10, but don't go on to the final year, and I was asked to leave the school because they just thought I wasn't performing well enough. I used to sneak off to play piano, and defy the rules of the school.

You can't get any better than TV on HBO, ABC and BBC3.

I find actors a little bit too self-conscious.

I feel really qualified to write about Australia.

It takes me ages to write stuff.

Fans feel they know me, so they want me to be on-the-spot funny, and it's hard to fulfil their expectations.

Like, Australians definitely don't walk around dressed up in blackface going "Ha-ha."