It felt like I was a bucket full of holes. Things kept going in but just as quickly, they'd drain out. So I had people telling me I was this and that and then I'd feel pressure to perform up to their standards, jumping through hoops so I could live up to their expectations.

I'd searched everywhere for this thing called love. I went through life seeking something that would be the ultimate.

I wanted to be the best in the world and at 12 years-old I won my first big amateur contest called The Gold Cup Series Contest at Marina Del Ray Skatepark. That's when I really started to believe I could turn pro, though it wasn't until two years later when I was 14 that I actually did with Sims.

It was a revolving door that kept going in circles. I got to the point where I thought, "Man, none of this is doing it." but I'd keep repeating the same actions. I'd go win another contest, open another company, invent a new maneuver.

I could be dead or something even more tragic could have happened, but by God's grace I am still alive. I was hooked on Crystal Meth for eight years and did it every single day, all day long. I honestly have no idea how my heart survived or how I didn't suffer multiple overdoses, I don't get it.

Back in the day however, careers were strictly built on competitions, just like surfing, though surfing is changing too so you can free surf and still get paid. So I think that rivalry was really because of the fans and the media who built it up, but it did bring something exciting about the sport, just like in any sport, whether it's Larry Bird or Magic Johnson, I think it just made skating that much more exciting.

I was literally living on the edge of life, to the point where I didn't know what was going to happen, not caring, taking chances and finally landing in prison and once there, all my lines were cut.