We know that our life is essentially tragic. I'm absolutely not for handing over that very important department of our psyche to those who say, "Why didn't you say so before? God has a plan for you in mind."

The stupider the regime the more intelligent the people get and the more humorous.

When the [US] president writes to Kim Jong Il, the son, the Dear Leader, he doesn't call him Dear Mr President, he calls him Dear Mr Secretary. Have you ever noticed that? Why is that? Because he's not the president of North Korea, he's the head of the Communist Party, the North Korean Workers' Party and he's the head of the Army. He's not head of the state. The head of the state is his father, who's been dead for 15 years.

Knowing that we are primates, I think, is a fascinating discovery, and a very interesting and rather cheering one.

Those who want to be offended don't have the right to try and close down the newspaper that offends them.

I don't think souls or bodies can be changed by incantation. Or anything else by the way.

Pakistan has to export a lot of uneducated people, many of whom have become infected with the most barbaric reactionary ideas.