There's a thin, blurry line between humor and tragedy.

Just like when there's a time that a smart person knows enough is enough, there's a time when you know you've got to fight.

I often tell young people that as a writer you are very powerful, that you can make absolutely anything happen.

The big steel wheels creaked a couple times, then started moving.

Every encounter with a woman must be viewed as a negotiation, ... the difference being instead of coaxing them off rooftops, you're coaxing them into romance. And remember, the negotiator is always in control.

I'm the same age as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth.

...that was Bud Caldwell's Rules and Things to Have a Funner LIfe and Make a Better Liar Out of Yourself Number 83...If a Adult Tells You Not to Worry, and You Weren't Worried Before, You Better Hurry Up and Start 'Cause You're Already Running Late.