If you make a fool of yourself in front of a cat, he will sneer at you, if you are sober; he will leave the room if you are drunk. If you make a fool of yourself in front a dog, he will make a fool of himself, too.

Early experiences convinced me that animals can and do have quite distinct personalities.

Comedy is unusual people in real situations; farce is real people in unusual situations.

We must not confuse distortion with innovation; distortion is useless change, art is beneficial change.

The road is better than the inn.

Fog and smog should not be confused and are easily separated by color. Fog is about the color of the insides of an old split wet summer cottage mattress; smog is the color and consistency of a wet potato chip soaked in a motorman’s glove.

The older I get, the more individuality I find in animals and the less I find in humans.