I doubt that pornography has been good for the advancement of society, but I suspect it’s done wonders for the advancement of computer technology.

The goal of being alive is to figure out what it means to be alive.

I feel sorry for people who have to edit me. Which is why book writing is by far the most enjoyable. Really the only thing it's based on is whether it's good or not. No book editor, in my experience, is getting a manuscript and trying to rewrite it.

When I'm walking around, I'm usually drinking pop, so I can't have a mask on. That's why I couldn't be a surgeon.

I care about strangers when they're abstractions, but I feel almost nothing when they're literally in front of me.

A lot of people involved with celebrity journalism have interesting ideas about the people they want to write about going into the interview. Then as soon as they actually sit down with that person, they basically ask the questions they think journalists are supposed to ask, and they start viewing themselves almost as a peer of the subject. Like they're going to become friends. That's why most celebrity journalism is so terrible.

It feels so exhausting to be so bad at something I loved so much.