Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.

Even eternally free people are enslaved by the process of living.

Booze is the greatest of all equalizers. Rich drunks and poor drunks both pass out the same way.

If you can't swim, the idea of being in nine feet of water is terrifying, much less the ocean.

Sometimes I wonder what will be the air conditioning of my dying days. What thing will they add that will make it impossible to be uncomfortable? Because I do assume that as an old person, I will be very comfortable. There will be something - a drug or some way to impact the air around me - that when I relax, I'm gonna feel great. So I do look forward to that.

We argued about how hard it would be to ride a bear, assuming said bear was muzzled.

Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.