We all eventually become whatever we pretend to hate.

This made her remember why people take up walking: It is because they no longer have anywhere to go.

But it goes without saying that Michael Jordan could never date Pamela Anderson. That would cause the apocalypse.

Who Am I? Or (Perhaps More Accurately) Who Else Could Be Me?

The amount of response I get, in both a negative and a positive context, is completely related to the amount of books I sell, I think. It seems to have nothing to do with what I'm writing, but what degree of success I'm perceived to have. It's really weird, especially since I spent so much of my life covering people who are famous. It's interesting to actually have it happen to me on some level.

Different critics go to different lengths to disagree with that sentiment, but ultimately, they're the person experiencing this art, and whatever judgment or taste they use is internal, and says more about them than about the record they're writing about.

A homeless man once told me that dancing to rap music is the cultural equivalent of masturbating, and I'd sort of fell the same way about playing John Madden Football immediately after filing my income tax: It's fun, but - somehow - vaguely pathetic.