I believe that the obsessive worship of movie, TV and sports figures is less likely to produce spiritual gain than praying to Thor.

Love, sex, food, friendship, art, play, beauty and the simple pleasure of a cup of tea are all well and good, but never forget that God/the universe is determined to kill you by whatever means necessary.

If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I'm gonna be really pissed.

For every man that ever walked the Earth, except maybe the sociopaths, when it comes to talking to pretty girls... it's just stark terror.

Life is never quite like the brochure.

Don't forget that you are the product of a culture that went stark raving mad about ten thousand years ago. Adjust your thinking accordingly.

I exercise regularly. I eat moderate amounts of healthy food. I make sure to get plenty of rest. I see my doctor once a year and my dentist twice a year. I floss every night. I've had chest x–rays, cardio stress tests, EKGs and colonoscopies. I see a psychologist and have a variety of hobbies to reduce stress. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I don't have crazy, reckless sex with strangers. If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I'm gonna be really pissed.