A couple drinks. A couple aspirin. Repeat.

History is nothing except monsters or victims. Or witnesses.

On game shows, some people will take the trip to France, but most people will take the washer and dryer pair.

When you're thinking about the rest of your life, you're never really thinking more than a couple years down the road.

You know how they say you only hurt the ones you love? Well, it works both ways.

The avant-garde in every field consists of the lonely, the friendless, the uninvited. All progress is the product of the unpopular.

A comedy ends with a wedding, and a tragedy ends with a funeral: you always have to juxtapose sex and death.