Life's greatest comfort is being able to look over your shoulder and see people worse off, waiting in line behind you.

I wanted to destroy everything beautiful I'd never have.

You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you've got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug. Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you.

The problem with educating stupid people was that they didn’t know they were stupid. The same went for curing crazy people.

Parenthood is the opiate of the masses.

I haven't had a TV in 10 years, and I really don't miss it. 'Cause it's always so much more fun to be with people than it ever was to be with a television.

The voice says, maybe you don't go to hell for the things you do. Maybe you go to hell for the things you don't do. The things you don't finish.