Every time I write something, I think, this is the most offensive thing I will ever write. But no. I always surprise myself.

This is passive-aggression in action.

Everyone thinks their whole life should be at least as much fun as masturbation.

The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on. If you can change the way people think. The way they see themselves. The way they see the world. You can change the way people live their lives. That's the only lasting thing you can create.

We all have some proper noun to blame.

A good story should make you laugh, and a moment later break your heart.

Las Vegas looks the way you'd imagine heaven must look at night.