As the stupidest person in the room, I always had the most to gain.

All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.

Part of her doing suicide intervention is my caseworker has to mix me another gin and tonic.

Parenthood is the opiate of the masses.

This is the worst problem with living history museums. They always leave the best parts out. Like typhus. And opium. And scarlet letters. Shunning. Witch-burning.

The bad news is we don't have any control. The good news is we can't make any mistakes.

Sometimes the very best way to deal with unpleasant things is to depict them in ways that allow people to laugh at them and destroy the power of unsayable things, rather than refusing to acknowledge them.