I don't do much more than organise other people's ideas and insights and thoughts, and sort of harvest them, and inventory them and present them.

Actually, watching television and surfing the Internet are really excellent practice for being dead.

I told him to buy land, my mum says, they’re not making it anymore.

Burn the Louvre, and wipe your ass with the Mona Lisa. This way at least, God would know our names.

My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich.

If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person?

The best fights don't occur between strangers. They occur between friends who trust each other.