Self improvement is masturbation.

You kill strangers deliberately so you don't accidentally kill the people you love.

The same way a compact disk isn't responsible for what's recorded on it, that's how we are. You're about as free to act as a programmed computer. You're about as one-of-a-kind as a dollar bill.

In good old Colonial Dunsboro, masochism is a valuable job skill. It is in most jobs.

Every stage of life has its own form of power, and we're always sort of terrified as to whether we can make the jump to the next form of power.

Her voice makes me think of her mouth makes me think of her breath makes me think of her breasts.

If you ask me, most people have children just as their own enthusiasm about life begins to wane.