You couldn't have small, dying children in a movie without really bringing everyone down, but you can in comics.

You tell yourself that noise is what defines silence. Without noise, silence would not be golden. Noise is the exception. Think of deep outer space, the incredible cold and quiet where your wife and kid wait. Silence, not heaven, would be reward enough.

Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education.

For the first time in longer than I can remember, I feel peaceful. Not happy. Not sad. Not anxious. Not horny. Just all the higher parts of my brain closing up shop. The cerebral cortex. The cerebellum. That's where my problem is. I'm now simplifying myself. Somewhere balanced in the perfect middle between happiness and sadness. Because sponges never have a bad day.

Optimism is the first symptom that any disease is fatal.

I don't want to die without a few scars.

For the record, knowing when people are only pretending to like you isn't such a great skill to have.