It's a chain of accidents. When you step into Hollywood, you wind yourself into thousands of chains of accidents. If all of the thousands happen to come out exactly right-and the chance of that figures out to be one in eight million-then you'll be a star.

Hell, if I'd jumped on all the dames I'm supposed to have jumped on, I'd have had no time to go fishing.

The only reason they come to see me is that I know that life is great - and they know I know it.

I'm just a lucky slob from Ohio who happened to be in the right place at the right time.

I don't want a lot of strangers looking down at my wrinkles and my big fat belly when I'm dead.

I am intrigued by glamorous women ... A vain woman is continually taking out a compact to repair her makeup. A glamorous woman knows she doesn't need to.

When the public doesn't want me any longer, I'll quit.