I won't have to miss smoking any more. Nobody smokes where I'm going: It's like a row of restaurants in California.

People should be stopped from writing poetry. There's far too much of it. And if they're any good, they'll go ahead anyways.

Visitors who come from the Soviet Union and tell you how marvelous it is to be able to look at public buildings without advertisements stuck all over them are just telling you that they can't decipher the cyrillic alphabet.

In the movies first impressions are everything. Or, to put it less drastically, in the movies there are no later impressions without a first impression, because you will have stopped watching. Sometimes a critic persuades you to give an unpromising-looking movie a chance, but the movie had better convey the impression pretty quickly that the critic might be right.

It's my mission to tell the Australians from abroad in my work that Australia is a wonderful place.

As a work of art, it reminds me of a long conversation between two drunks

Every sentence he manages to utter scatters its component parts like pond water from a verb chasing its own tail.