I work on the assumption, or let it be the fear, that the reader will stop reading if I stop being interesting.

In Italy, for the same price as a typical British hamburger meal including sweet, a builder's labourer could eat like a king - rather better in fact, because pasta dishes gain from being kept simple.

A traditional fixture at Wimbledon is the way the BBC TV commentary box fills up with British players eliminated in the early rounds.

All intellectual tendencies are corrupted when they consort with power.

His pear-shaped head, I could now see, was situated on top of a pear-shaped body, which his black gown caused to resemble a piece of fruit going to a funeral.

She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a midget is good at being short.

Ban poetry. And make sure that anyone caught reading it is expelled from school. Then it will acquire the glamour.