A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all.

Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like a brown condom full of walnuts.

Murray sounds like a blindfolded man riding a unicycle on the rim of the pit of doom, the men actually facing the danger are all so taciturn that you might as well try interviewing the cars themselves.

The Canadian version of Julius Caesar's memoirs? I came, I saw, I coped.

Little books are the things to write at my age, I've decided. Avoid the big ones, go for the little ones.

When I was very young, one of my favourite books was Captain's Courageous and I suppose one of the reasons I loved it, it was a life I knew I should have had, learning all the different bits of the ship and learning to catch fish and rig sails and to -all the things that I never learned and I never learned the discipline, but I hungered after it.

Dinner was meat - not hunks of meat, as in Australia, but pathetic scraps of meat, as in Britain - which the girls upstairs transformed into edible dishes by heating it in secret ways and adding bits of stuff to it.