I love reading about the sea. I love reading about it a lot more than actually being on the sea, when you think about it.

Every sentence he manages to utter scatters its component parts like pond water from a verb chasing its own tail.

As a work of art, it reminds me of a long conversation between two drunks

Philosophers are divided on the question of whether the narrative therein unfolded [the Crossman Diaries] is grippingly boring or boringly gripping.

I love reading about the sea. I love reading about it a lot more than actually being on the sea, when you think about it.

"Nationwide" featured an amazing collection of apprentice impersonators. From all over Britain, schoolchildren materialised via local studios to give us their imitations of the mighty. There were at least three uncannily accurate Margaret Thatchers, their eyelids fatigued with condescension and their voices swooping and whining like dive-bombers.

Men never sound more stupid than when they're telling you they're a very complex personality.