You can't be young always. The day will come when everything will fall apart.

Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right.

Bjorn Borg looks like a hunchbacked, jut-bottomed version of Lizabeth Scott, impersonating a bearded Apache princess.

Mocking Hugh Hefner is easy to do, and in my mind should be made easier.

My wife spoke perfect Italian and she was very beautiful and very suave Italian men were crowding around her, talking all the time and if I was to even understand what was going on, I had to learn the language fast.

I was wrong, however, to suppose that Sellers thought the world revolved around him. He thought the cosmos did too, and history, and the fates... Like every egomaniac, he behaved as if everybody else spent their day being as interested in him as he was.

Sick of being a prisoner of my childhood, I want to put it behind me.