Stop worrying, nobody gets out of this world alive.

Bjorn Borg looks like a hunchbacked, jut-bottomed version of Lizabeth Scott, impersonating a bearded Apache princess.

You can't be young always. The day will come when everything will fall apart.

Not everyone who wants to make a film is crazy, but almost everyone who is crazy wants to make a film.

A sense of humour is common sense dancing.

"Nationwide" featured an amazing collection of apprentice impersonators. From all over Britain, schoolchildren materialised via local studios to give us their imitations of the mighty. There were at least three uncannily accurate Margaret Thatchers, their eyelids fatigued with condescension and their voices swooping and whining like dive-bombers.

Every sentence he manages to utter scatters its component parts like pond water from a verb chasing its own tail.