As an older dad who grew up in a rural culture in the South, certain things were expected of women, and that included raising the children. But I think its just as important for the father to give the baths, to hug, to change the diapers, to tell the stories.

Because we men have been physically stronger and more arrogant, weve influenced much of the cool stuff of the world, like basing the definition of courage on what we do on battlefields rather than on the patience or endurance or tolerance necessary for a sometimes painful daily grind that includes small children.

A working definition of fathering might be this: fathering is the act of guiding a child to behave in ways that lead to the childs becoming a secure child in full, thus increasing his or her chances of being happy and fruitful as a young adult.

I believe theres a secret chemical thats turned loose when you have kids that says youve got to survive, youve got to be strong. That keeps you on your toes, besides all kinds of other things, when you have three little ones running around.

In my case, a papadaddy is a father. My paternal grandfather was called Papa by my father who was called Daddy by me.

Being a father can unreason your worldview, or at least make it very flexible, and that can create all sorts of fun and insights. Its sad that childrens open-eyed wonder and sense of play begin to fade as they approach adolescence. One grand function of fathering is to keep the fading to a minimum.

I once tried to raise two tomato plants, and they died in spite of the fact I fertilized them every morning. Duh.